How to Create a Vision Board

Vision boards are great tools for creating new realities and attracting opportunities into our lives. The vision board works by activating the unconscious and helping us recognize opportunities when they cross our paths.  Many of us attract opportunities daily, but not all of us take action nor recognize them as they appear in our lives.  Many of us are fixated on specific results and overlook the subtle opportunities that present themselves.

 A vision board can serve as a focal tool that trains us to recognize opportunities as they present themselves. You can create any reality you desire to use a vision board. Granted, you cannot generate height if you are short, nor can you make a castle out of thin air.  But you can train yourself to think in positive ways that allow you to open doors to endless possibilities.

When creating your vision board, allow yourself to use your imagination freely. Do not worry about how nice it looks or what is correct or not since it is your vision board to do whatever it is you desire. Some folks may have their options based on what has worked for them, and this cool; however, it is your vision and yours alone.

In creating your board, include anything that visually will remind you of your goals or desires.  For instance, if you wish to travel, use pictures of the places you want to visit.  If you’re going to finish your education, add elements that symbolize your educational goal, such as words or pictures of objects related to your field. For example, you want a degree in journalism, add a photo of your favorite journalist or if your degree is in science, add a photograph of your favorite scientist, etc. Images, words, affirmations, or even poetry, can be used to decorate your board, as well as little objects or trinkets.

Think of your vision board as your road map that allows your unconscious mind to create new navigation patterns. With a vision board, you are doing more than just laying down the foundation for attracting new possibilities; you are also relearning how to think and reprogram your thinking. A vision board can be seen as something for attracting new options and a tool for breaking old patterns and beliefs.

To create a dream board, you will need to do the following:

• Get a physical board – where you can pin all the images, words, trinkets, and affirmations related to your desires
• Select the specific area(s) you wish to manifest – Be detailed and generous in your desires. You can select one or several areas you want to manifest: a house, business, educational goal, physical change, financial goals, etc. Go all out
• Gather your visual objects: You can use downloaded pictures, draw or add photos representing what you wish to obtain.
• Write a paragraph or sentence: Express what you desire on a piece of paper and can attach it to the correlating visual object on your board
• Run free with your imagination: You can be minimalistic as you like or over the top with your decorations. There are no real rules on the decorative elements.
• Feel free to use color or keep it monochromatic:  Remember this is your board, and it represents your desires and wishes

Once you feel satisfied with your creation, place the board someplace where you can sit at least once a month for a. brief 5-minute meditation.  Never overdo your visualization practice since overdoing it will increase your expectations and overthinking.  The key is to meditate and let go. Manifestation works best when it is easy going and not infused with stress or overthinking. A vision board, not a wishing well, so you are not creating an object for making wishes, but rather an item to help guide your unconscious mind into a healthy and proactive direction.

Our minds are influential, and when we overthink, we create stress and doubts, which translates into worry.  Nothing gets manifested when we worry since our focus is now on negative patterns and not positive opportunities.

Whatever you do, enjoy your board and the creative process.

Copywrite ©2020 R. Castro

Stages of Breaking-up

Breaking up is not an easy emotional process. There are many layers of emotions you encounter before you finally feel whole and able to move on with your life as a single person.

Breaking up is difficult for many of us because we placed a lot of expectations on a relationship that we assumed would last a lifetime.

A breakup represents many different things to each of us. It can represent abandonment failure, unworthiness or simply bad luck in love. The feelings one experiences with a break-up on many levels feel the same as losing someone to death, except that in this case the person is alive, and they may never be an active part of our lives again.  The simple idea that the person that once loved us may never talk to us, can be devastating.

When we break up, we face different stages which consist of the following:

Denial – we cannot accept the fact that the relationship is in trouble and has the potential of ending. We try to continue being around the person as if nothing is wrong in the relationship. We try to normalize things and carry on without giving much thought to the issues at hand. We know deep down something is off but refuse to acknowledge the truth and basically tell ourselves its either our imagination or we are being too sensitive.

Negotiation– we enter a period of trying to save the relationship, maybe we purpose couples counseling to help change the person’s mind. We try to rekindle the relationship and revive the passion. Sometimes the efforts pay off, but sometimes things do get worse. This stage is critical and delicate since the future of the relationship is truly at stake. This is the stage when we try to improve or fix things in order to maintain the relationship status.

Anger – at this stage we become angry and frustrated because we start to feel like we have wasted a good part of our lives with someone who doesn’t care. We become resentful and hurt at the person’s lack of cooperation or desire to work on the relationship. We blame them for the failures of the relationship and view them as stubborn. There is a lot of blaming and feelings of frustrations at this point since we feel like we have wasted time and energy. This period can be considered externalized blaming since we look for outside reasons things did not work out. We may blame our partners or other people who intervened.

Depression – we were to feel lost and hurt that the other person no longer wants to remain in the relationship. We start to blame ourselves for the failures in the relationship and our ability to maintain a loving relationship. We feel worthless and sad because we assume, we are broken. This period is hard because we do a lot of internalized blaming and basically beat ourselves for failing to keep the relationship going. This stage can last a long time and usually can block a person from taking any more risks when it comes to dating or being involved.

Acceptance– Finally we have arrived at a place where we can allow ourselves to recognize that relationship sometimes end, and it happens to everyone at some point or another. At this stage you allow yourself to accept the end and may even forgive the person for not remaining in the relationship. Though you accept the fact things ended, there may be some left-over feelings of resentment or hurt. There may be times where you feel angry and think about how you wasted time in a loveless relationship, or you may find yourself wishing you knew how to engage better.

The truth is, there are some relationships we may never completely get over, which is why at times folks go back to old flames or ex-partners. In essence, though you accept the ending, you may still wish you may have worked through things better or had avoided the person altogether.

The acceptance stage is one that will allow you to begin to make peace and let go with love.  Regardless of how you may have ended a relationship, acceptance is the beginning of healing. I emphasize beginning because we do go through periods of emotional flashbacks that may bring on sadness or anger whenever a specific memory is triggered.  In truth, you know you are completely done, when you can recall something from your past and have no emotional reaction.  And yes, it will take work as well as time.

Copyright © 2020 R.Castro

Sex and Self-esteem

Sex is a real mood changer. It contributes to feelings of being wanted, desired and worthy. Sadly, many individuals equate sexual activities as signs of being desirable or valued.  Many people get stuck in a loop of wanting validation, especially when they lack a healthy amount of self-esteem. Validation for many lacking self-worth comes in the form of sex, compliments, and they often see being desired by their partner as a sign that they are worthy of the relationship.

Now, whenever a partner has lost interest in having sex with their partner, there is a tendency for the partner to feel rejected and undesirable, which slowly erodes the self-esteem. Diminished sexual acts between partners often lead to one person feeling rejected, which then creates a decline in self-esteem.

Part of the reason that sex increases the sense of well-being and overall self-worth is that sexual acts contribute to the production of dopamine through means of orgasms. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that enhances the production of oxytocin, which is the cuddle hormone responsible for human socialization and attachments.  Oxytocin is also responsible for the feelings of attachment mothers feel towards their newborn infants.

The production of oxytocin not only creates a need for attachment, but it also contributes to feelings of self-worth, self-esteem and feeling positive.  When you combine the neurotransmitters with behaviors that make a person feel wanted, it is easy to see how sex can make a person feel extra special and wanted whenever a partner wants to have sex.

The fact is, that sex is not the only way to feel special and wanted. But it is one of the best ways to have the brain produce oxytocin through the enhancement of dopamine spikes. Now the dilemma is how to improve a relationship when the sex is not often due to health, PTSD issues or only different-sex values?  The answer is to enhance the relationship through other means that also increase a sense of overall well being.

There are natural ways to increase the spikes of dopamine, which will assist in the production of oxytocin.  Here are some examples of basic methods:

1. Hugging
2. Cuddling
3. Laughing
4. Dancing
5. Exercising
6. Non-sexual Intimacy which includes, romantic dates, pillow talk, spending quality time alone.
7. Learn something new together
8. Bake together (make chocolate cookies or desserts)
9. Meditate together

In summary, enjoy your partner. Make each moment count when you are together, and this will reduce the doubts and fears that erode trust and faith in your relationship. It will also lessen the need for sexual validation. The fact is that sexual needs are physical, just like the need to eat, but it doesn’t mean you are worthless because the need diminishes.  Self-worth is about your sense of appreciation for yourself. What others think of us, will only make us feel good for a brief moment. But what we believe about ourselves last a lifetime.

Copyright ©2017 Rosa Castro

References

Dopamine. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopamine

Psychology Today (2017) What is dopamine? Retrieved https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/dopamine

Write Studio (2017)The effects of Increasing Dopamine. Retrieved http://www.writestudio.com/335/increase-dopamine-risks-and-benefits

Eating Wisely

I will start out by saying this is not an endorsement for a trendy diet plan.  I am not going to sell you the latest diet or cure for obesity or flat tummy remedies. This blog is about making wise food choices. It is necessary to learn how to create a healthy relationship with food, so you avoid impulsive choices.

For starters, you need to be selective on what you eat a not just for weight loss but optimum performance.  Your ideas about food need to change before you can learn to make healthy choices.

Trendy diets and food supplement work temporarily because you are essentially starving your body. Once weight goals are achieved, you regain the weight, because you go back to making the same old food choices. In order to successfully develop permanent eating patterns, you need to be mindful of the following:

• Get a medical check-up to make sure you do not have deficiencies or chronic health issues that may be impacted by a major diet change
• Keep in mind that everybody type has a different chemical make-up which is why one diet does not fit every individual
• Food is more than just a tummy filler; it is a combination of nutrients that supply our body and brain with fuel
• Smart food choices also provide our brain with the necessary chemicals to help regulate our moods  
• Food is chemistry, which is why its a mood enhancer and used as fuel for physical function
• Avoid doing a trendy diet just because it worked for a friend. Keep in mind  we all have different lifestyles and dietary needs
• Remember, when you begin your food modifications, is not a temporary phase, but a lifestyle upgrade
• Learn to cook in order to avoid eating foods with hidden calories and sugars
• Avoid processed foods as much as possible because they always have hidden sugars and salts that keep you craving more food, so you keep consuming more
• Though you should avoid processed foods, the truth is not everyone has the money or access to fresh produce, which means you need to read labels for food traps such as sugar and extra salt
• Moderation is essential, however before achieving it, you will need to reset your cravings
• Practice harm reduction when it comes to food choices, which means learning to identify food groups that keep you craving more consumption
• Avoid eating for comfort since it will lead to more unhealthy choices
• Clean out your food pantry and refrigerator of all processed junk food high in sugar or salt
• Always use a grocery list when food shopping in order to avoid buying unnecessary junk food
• Practice food planning since it will help reduce impulse eating and poor food choices
• Learn new recipes for healthy meal planning
• Make your food appealing to the eyes by using colorful vegetables
• Learn to consume food with high nutritional value for your lifestyle and specific body type.
• Remember food consumption will be different from person to person, for instance, a bodybuilder has different dietary needs than a runner or someone who practices yoga.
• A balanced health plan includes some form of exercise
• When going out to dinner, enjoy yourself, feeling deprived only makes you crave more
• When socializing, try to select events that are non-food related such as attending museums, art galleries, concerts, dancing, biking, hiking, walking, etc.
• Avoid sugary snacks, but If you must snack, pick snacks that are crunchy, packed with nutrients and naturally satisfy you.
• Keep healthy snacks in your home or carry with you to avoid random sugar products
• When spending the day out, take some emergency snacks with you, since it will not only save money but also keep you from consuming junk food
• When living with others, plan meals that everyone can enjoy and benefit from
• No need to be a vegan to be healthy since not everyone can thrive on plant-based meals only, specifically if they have problems digesting raw vegetables or need high-levels of iron
• Include the whole household in the meal planning in order to avoid having to higher food bills, cooking separate meals and sabotaging healthy eating

Changing your lifestyle is a big part of eating healthy. Diets do not work because they are based on plans that are meant to kick-start weight loss and not necessarily as a lifestyle.  Most trendy diets cannot sustain us because they often lack balance and omit food groups we need. As individuals, our bodies require different food groups and nutrients to thrive and function based on our lifestyle and not some cookie-cutter formula.

Copyright © 2020. R. Castro

Reference

Clean eating for beginners resource

Clean eating recipes

Downshiftology

Tish Wonders

Hello Fresh