Understanding Cultural Differences When it Comes to Dating

It is believed that dating someone from a different culture can be difficult and hard to manage. There is a tendency to think that only someone from one’s culture can genuinely accept us.  However, the truth is that acceptance and compatibility go beyond culture. For starters, culture is not the same thing as race. Culture has more to do with our backgrounds as individuals and how our environment influences our behaviors and beliefs. Our culture reflects our family values, religious influences, social connections, educational upbringing, and personal adjustments to social norms.

We can be born in the same town and still have different values and ideas about life.  Being born into the same clan or community does not make us identical.  It does mean culturally, we share similar values and beliefs, but in terms of personal preference and our social roles, we can be unique. Many areas impact how we think and interact with each other, and it is helpful to become familiar with some potential differences that can affect how we interact:

• Verbal Language – how we communicate goes beyond our mother tongue.  Many of us can speak the same language and yet use different vocabulary skills that can create trigger reactions in each other. Our verbal preferences can make others feel at ease, while some will feel disrespected and alienated.
  
• Body language – involves hand gestures and facial expressions that convey messages that can be just as confusing as verbal preferences. Physical gestures such as direct eye contact, physical touch, or smiling can express many different types of information, creating confusion and pushing our buttons.
  
• Religion – our religious practice can unite or separate individuals. When it comes to religion or spiritual beliefs, some may find ourselves challenged mostly because some practices require different restrictions we may disagree with. Religious traditions can influence social styles, meal choices, relationship roles, and personal freedoms.
  
• Physical space – the physical distance between individuals is regarded differently between different cultures.  What is viewed as personal space, others may view it as disrespectful and arrogant.
  
• Direct and frank – being upfront and transparent may seem ordinary and appropriate for many, especially folks from First world nations. Still, this behavior can be considered rude and aggressive in third world nations.
  
• Family vs. Individualism – some individuals are strongly impacted by family dynamics, and when making decisions, their family’s views play a significant role. Individuals who are raised to be independent may struggle to understand the role of family involvement when it comes to decision making.
  
• Culture vs. Race – not everyone born in the same race shares the same cultural values. The term race is simply a group identification factor and not an indication of personal beliefs and behavior patterns

When it comes to dating and relationship compatibility, though we may be from a different culture or background, we can still have a harmonious connection.  The key to a loving and healthy relationship involves more than just sharing similar traits; it consists of some type of effort, which includes some of the following:

• Boundaries – be aware that regardless of our backgrounds, we each have our type of comfort and limits when it comes to sharing our lives with others.
  
• Mindfulness – think before reacting or assuming that others understand where you are coming from.
  
• Respect Differences– we all come from unique households, and how we handle situations and cope as individuals is part of our boundary.
  
• Practice healthy compromises– it is crucial to meet our partners halfway, but the compromises need to be realistic. In other words, do not give up specific values that are essential for your well-being.
  
• Avoid stereotyping– get to know your partner as an individual rather than as a member of a particular race or cultural group
  
• Ask questions– when you are not sure about certain practices or views, ask questions. Let the individual educate you on their cultural traditions, rather than make assumptions that can lead to misunderstandings
  
• Avoid being arrogant – it is ok to have pride in one’s culture and background, but do not for a minute assume your culture is better than anyone else’s.
  
• Enjoy common views – focus on what you do have in common rather than how different you are. The need for love, understanding, and acceptance is a common need for all people, regardless of culture.
  
• Remain open – keep your mind open to new possibilities and ideas; this will allow you to enjoy your relationship fully.

Learning about different cultures enables us not just to get along but also to enjoy others’ company with less judgment and negative associations.  Keep in mind that the more you learn about others, the more your world expands.

Copyright © 2020 R. Castro