Improving your Relationship with Money

Money is an emotional pin that can bust our bubble or make us feel like we are soaring above the clouds.  It can make us feel safe, superior as well as entirely worthless. Our relationship with money contributes to our ability to earn well and fail miserably in maintaining a budget.

Many of us have a love-hate relationship when it comes to money. Depending on how we were raised, we can see money as the primary solution to all our problems or as a component in manipulating people through greed and power.  The fact is, money itself has no agenda and how we use it or misuse it has a lot to do with our views on money.

To help you achieve specific goals in life, you will need to adjust your view regarding money, specifically if money is part of what will facilitate your goals.  Here is a brief list of issues that impact our relationship with money, which should be recognized to improve our thinking.

1. Make money work for you, this way it becomes a real asset.
2. keep a money journal to help you track and understand your spendings
3. Needing money does not make you evil nor greedy
4. Money does have a useful purpose; therefore, wanting money does serve a purpose.
5. Though at times you may feel wanting money, it is ok to have some
6. It is ok to make money for your services or work
7. Money is useful, but it is not the only resource available for solving problems
8. Do expand your creative problem-solving skills to reduce your dependency on money
9. Money is not the only tool for obtaining goals
10. Design a budget since it will help you save and spend with purpose
11. Spend money on things that bring you joy and not unnecessary debt
12. Create a budget that includes essential bills as well as money for fun and savings.
13. Create a list of available resources in your community and available online
14. Learn to shop with purpose rather than out of boredom
15. Learn to tap into available free resources to avoid unnecessary spending
16. Having a little extra money in your pocket does not mean you have to spend it
17. Shop with purpose rather than out of boredom
18. You are not greedy for saving money
19. Invest your money wisely, so work does not become the only sources for making money
20. There is a difference between gambling and investing your money, become acquainted with investment choices
21. Treat your savings like a utility bill.  Instead of paying for an extra latte or movie channel, treat yours savings like a bill.
22. Avoid emotional spending since it often leads to debt and unnecessary purchases
23. When shopping for groceries, create a weekly menu with a shopping list.
24. Create saving goals; this will allow you to assign your budget to something specific, which will reduce pointless shopping
25. Budget for fun activities, this way you do not feel like you only work to pay bills
26. Learn to take advantage of coupons when grocery shopping
27. Buy what you need and avoid shopping just because there is a sale
28. Eat before going grocery shopping to avoid overspending on junk food
29. Do some research when buying significant appliances or big-ticket items to avoid over-paying
30. Buy quality vs. quantity, since good quality goods last longer, which means less shopping for replacements

The list may not reduce all your issues with money, but hopefully, it will help you view things from a different perceptive.

Copyright © 2020 R. Castro


Useful Resources:

5 minute simply money meditation provided by:
Music created and licensed exclusively for Emily Rhinier/
Unlimited You Spoken words by Emily Rhinier (Unlimited You)


https://youtu.be/xUEFY4ubmWk

When your Partner is Depressed

Your partner, whom you love and enjoyed being around, went from being an easy-going person into an irritable and moody dark cloud. No matter what you do or say, you just can’t seem to cheer them up.  You often feel like you fail to make your partner happy and are worried your relationship will fail.  Though depression can impact the relationship, it does not mean your union has to suffer a loss.

It is essential to recognize the symptoms to find ways to cope and manage depression effectively. There are various degrees of depression, from chronic, persistent to mild. 

Individuals can suffer from depression and not even know it. Depression can come and go throughout a person’s life without expressing itself in recognizable symptoms.

The symptoms of depression can range from mild to extreme and include some of the following symptoms:

1.  Ongoing periods of low mood or sadness
2.  A tendency to experience hopelessness and helplessness
3. Bouts of low self-esteem, which can impact sexual drive
4. Often irritated and intolerant of other
5. Crying at times for no reason
6. Struggles with decision making
7. Changes in eating habits, which contribute to weight gain or loss
8. Inconsistent sleeping patterns
9. Excessive drinking and self-medication with both illicit and non-illicit drugs
10. Feeling guilt-ridden due to lack of drive
11. Low motivation or loss of interest in things they typically enjoy
12. Feeling concerned or anxious often
13. Suicidal thoughts or desire to self-harm
14. Isolation from others, when they usually are social

Occasionally we all experience a few of the symptoms above, especially when encountering a challenging period in our lives. For instance, if we are unhappy with various circumstances, such a work, health, home life, or relationship, it is natural to become depressed. 

Depression does not have to be the end of your relationship. You can get through this period together by finding concrete ways to cope and manage the symptoms. It is useful to seek help that accommodates your lifestyles and personal needs.  When it comes to depression, being proactive is vital, and the best way to manage it.  

It is essential to take care of yourself when one’s partner is struggling with depression.  It is common to experience guilt and frustration when we feel at a loss at helping our partner navigate their emotional crisis. Self-care can take on the following forms:

• Therapy
• Journaling
• Meditation
• Energy work
• Support group
• Self-compassion
• Physical care such as exercising and resting
• Take short breaks
• Let go of guilt
• Be patient with yourself

We cannot help others when we are emotionally exhausted. Self-care will allow you to maintain the emotional and mental endurance required to be anyone’s support system.  

Copyright © 2020 R. Castro

Resources

Depression: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/

Signs: https://www.rd.com/health/wellness/how-to-cope-with-a-depressed-spouse/

Providing support: https://lifehacker.com/how-to-support-a-partner-struggling-with-depression-1717700336

Tips for coping: https://psychcentral.com/lib/suffering-in-silence-when-your-spouse-is-depressed/

Developing Creative Visualization Skills

Creative visualization techniques are useful in making things happen in your life through the mental imagery. Your mind works as a co-creator of events through the combination of new and old patterns, images, and beliefs. When you use visualization, you are instructing your mind to learn new ways of responding to your reality. You can create a new outlook and change old behavior patterns using visualization. You can manifest anything you desire.

With creative visualization, you are training your mind to create desired results or outcomes. You can produce both negative and positive effects, by directly programming your mind to believe specific self-designed scripts.  This script can become a life plan on how you will behave and carry out your dreams or fears.

How Visualization Works:

1. It trains you to develop both positive and negative beliefs
2. It develops your scripts
3. It molds your personal and environmental opinions
4. It designs how you will react to certain situations

Creative visualization reinforces all type beliefs, patterns, and attitudes about ourselves and others.

Improving Visualization

There are different exercises you can do to improve your ability to visualize. These basic exercises to help you visualize are the following:

• Regular meditation – meditation will train your mind
• object focus – use any available object, focus for a few seconds and then try to see it with your eyes closed
• Colors – Memorize any color, and then close your eyes and imagine then
• Sound –Try to recall your favorite sound or music in your mind’s eye

Visualization occurs when our mind is relaxed and not working very hard.  Do not overthink the process. Practice and take your time without judging the results. Simple use your imagination and relax the critical tapes.

The Process

As you practice imagining colors, sounds or pictures in your mind’s eye, your skills will sharpen and become second nature. With time you will be able to sit and visualize different scenarios within minutes. Keep in mind that one of the main keys is in learning visualization to relax. Anxiety and stress block the mind from working effectively. Practice with ease and don’t allow yourself to fret or overdo it because you are worried about doing correctly or not getting results.

You can create any scenario you wish to cultivate in your reality but avoid excess focus on results. Simply imagine yourself living out the new reality. Once you completed visualization let go and go about your day without overthinking. You do not need to visualize for long periods or daily on the same scenario because this causes worry and obsession which creates fear and eventually block outcomes. Meditation is an excellent tool to train the mind to relax, which will be useful in visualization. Remember, keep it simple and enjoyable.

To help you remember your visual experience, you should practice regularly. Make sure that you are relaxed and not disturbed during this exercise so that it will be easier to maintain your concentration. Also, try the techniques for different lengths of time going from two minutes up to ten minutes at a time. Try holding your images as long as possible. In other words, think of one image for as long as you can, before moving on to the next one.  The idea with the exercises to develop your attention span, as well as your ability to see.  One more thing keep a journal and document your results.

Copyright © 2017 Rosa Castro

References

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creative_visualization

http://www.mind-your-reality.com/creative_visualization.html

http://shaktigawain.com/

Your Decluttering Plan

Your home is a hot mess.  It is both uncomfortable due to clutter, poorly organized and hard to clean because of the mess. Which means it’s a tad dusty, maybe even dirty. You can barely enjoy your home is in serious need of organizing, as well as cleaning.

I am not endorsing any particular minimalistic lifestyle, especially since I love books and clothes.  But what I will encourage you is to find a place for everything and of course this may include getting rid of stuff. 

I got a couple of ideas for you to try out that can be accomplished a little each week rather than keep you busy every minute of your day. When I refer to decluttering, I am talking about putting some order into your space by getting rid of things you may be holding on to that you will probably never use or need.  Here are the ideas to bring to start:

1. Devote one day a week or a weekend- to devote time to tackling your home and restoring order.
   
   
2. To-Do list – Creating a list of things to do will allow you to see your progress and help you with a concrete game plan
   
   
3. Get inspired – check out the different decluttering systems to help you find your style
   
   
4. Buy garbage bags and storage containers – Get some big bags to making throwing things away more manageable and doable.  Also, purchase containers to help you in the organizing process
   
   
5. Your decluttering process – You need to follow a few rules: toss, give away, or store in a proper place
   
   
6. Begin and end with photos – document your progress; this will remind you how your place looked and how much it improved.
   
   
7. Get rid of duplicates– You do not need two of the same items, especially if you live alone or if it’s an item you use once in a while. Also, getting rid of duplicates will free up space
   
   
8. Throw out broken stuff – Unless you are super handy and have excellent gluing skills, there is no need to keep broken stuff. Get rid of your broken stuff because of its occupying precious real estate.
   
   
9. Get rid of your ex’s stuff- You are not a storage unit. You broke up and are holding on to property; why?
   
   
10. Get rid of old electronics – unless they are in mint condition and are worth money, old stuff that simply occupies space.
    
    
11. Craft projects – stop putting your craft stuff everywhere. Find a permanent spot in your place and organized a craft section.
    
    
12. Books – If you have books from the time you were in elementary school, it’s time to get rid of them. You can donate them to the library or a thrift shop. Also, look into getting a kindle or a reader and replace some books with eBooks.
    
    
13. Donate kitchen stuff you do not use- If you have a lot of pots, pans, dishes, etc. but find yourself using the same three pots, glasses, or containers, get rid of the rest.  Unless you own a catering company, you do not need ton pots. Spend one day just sorting only dishes, pots, cups, and utensils.
    
    
14. Clearing your bathroom –bathrooms can look like a warehouse of toilettes, old medicine bottles, and half-filled bottles of products. Your bathroom should be clear of clutter and clean. Think Spa.
    
    
15. Living Room space – your living room should be inviting and a place to sit back and chill after a day of working or studying.  Your sofa should not contain so many items you can barely sit, and your coffee table should not double as an open storage unit. Get rid of everything in the living room that does not belong in it, like laundry, boxes of extra stuff.
    
    
16. Bedroom – It should be a place for peaceful sleep and making love and not the den of lost items and old junk.  Take a weekend and clear your bedroom of all unnecessary items.
    
    
17. Closets and storage areas – this may require several attempts, but you can begin by making a few piles, one for donating, tossing, giving away, and keeping. The rule for selecting items is how often you wear it, love it and how it fits.
    
    
18. Old Photos– I love photos, but let’s be honest, not all of us took great pictures.  You can digitize your photos and create a digital scrapbook, or you can take your favorite ones and do some artwork.  However, the key is to get rid of the hundreds of photos lying in a box that never see the light of day.
    
    
19. Old and ill-fitting clothes – We keep old clothes by telling ourselves we will lose weight, and instead, we keep gaining, and our clothes keep taunting us with the vivid memory of how skinny we were.  We need to embrace our bodies and let go of what is old and no longer serves us. Get rid of your daisy duke shorts, polyester jumpsuit, and move into the current decade.
    
    
20. Our kids’ toys and old clothes – it is adorable to hold on to mementos; however, keeping tons of stuff only occupies your limited real estate. Select the best items and create something nice.  You do not need dozens of boxes of old childhood stuff to maintain memories.

Keep your decluttering process realistic and manageable. It should not be stressful or uncomfortable; take your time, but be consistent.

Copyright © 2020 R. Castro


Resources

https://youtu.be/4aTakOSSH3Q