Creating New Inner Tapes

We all learn from our environment and those who are part of it. Regardless of who is present and how verbal or non-verbal we may be, we are continually learning from outside ourselves as children.  Our ability to learn becomes imprinted in our brains as a memory that becomes integrated into our development process.  We primarily learn the most from the things that create the most vital impressions since they invoke feelings.

The associations between our memories and feelings create an inner dialogue that we access whenever our feelings become triggered through specific events or catchphrases. Sadly, we do not always know or recall the original details of an event, but emotionally we can still relive the moments.

As we grow older, many of the emotional memories become linked to beliefs and myths that influence our everyday lives.  Our history, often based on false recollections, also contributes to our current self-tapes and how we understand our world

The negative beliefs consist of some of the following:

• You must strike first – you grow up believing people are not trustworthy and that you must attack first; otherwise, you will be taken advantage of by them.
• Expect to be perfect – due to a strong desire to be perfect; you learn to be super critical of yourself and become an overachiever
• False relationship myths – you learn young not to trust people and see everyone as a potential foe.
• Develop negative self-talk – you are frequently expecting the worse and tell yourself this is your fate
• Superiority Complex – you develop an over-inflated ego to help you hide your fragile ego
• Believe luck is all we need – this means you forego your responsibility and active role
• Expect others to bail you – you engage in foolish risk, expect others to clean your mess and bail you out financial or legal trouble
• False self-image – you see yourself as a failure and unworthy, so you never allow yourself to make changes
• Victimize ourselves – we learn to believe we cannot control or change anything
  

Negative tapes create various obstacles that keep us from enjoying a full life. Though the old beliefs might have served a purpose, they do not serve us forever. Negative tapes develop barriers and create behaviors that sabotage us. We create false ideas about others and ourselves because of negative beliefs. It impacts us in the following way:

• Makes us untrusting
• We self-sabotage relationships
• We do not take a healthy risk
• Contributes to unhealthy mood disorders such as depression and anxiety
• It turns us into victims
• Develop phobias
• We become undecisive
• We can appear needy
• we use people for fear they will use us first
• we live in constant fear of rejection
• we push others away

Some healthy ways to create new beliefs are:

• Treat others well – If you treat people with respect, they respect you back
• Self-care is essential – develop action plans to foster good habits and routines that reinforce positive feelings such as meditation, exercises, and eating well
• It’s ok to slow down – no need to be impulsive and jump on things. Allow yourself to be patient by learning to wait for a little and rethink actions
• Practice mindful communication – improve communication by slowing down and thinking over things before taking speaking, review your words, comments, and style of speech
• Reframe your views – You can create your reality by learning new ways of seeing things and reacting to others. Let go of old beliefs
• It’s time to believe in the good -There are good people in the world, and you are one of them.  Good people do make mistakes, but there are those if you allow them, they will treat you well
• Develop Mindful Awareness – improve how you react and take action through mindfulness meditation and journaling. Become more aware of your actions.
• Practice Forgiveness– letting go is essential for a happy life. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the burden of pain and hurt from your past, to be free. Yes, you may never forget, but your past should not define you or your future

Old tapes are roadblocks and serve no purpose other than to keep you locked in the past. To create a new future, you need to let go of your past since holding on requires a lot of energy to be used for better things.

Copyright. © 2021. R. Castro

Resources

https://youtu.be/u4TVC-Y_xIU

Developing Creative Visualization Skills

Creative visualization techniques are useful in making things happen in your life through the mental imagery. Your mind works as a co-creator of events through the combination of new and old patterns, images, and beliefs. When you use visualization, you are instructing your mind to learn new ways of responding to your reality. You can create a new outlook and change old behavior patterns using visualization. You can manifest anything you desire.

With creative visualization, you are training your mind to create desired results or outcomes. You can produce both negative and positive effects, by directly programming your mind to believe specific self-designed scripts.  This script can become a life plan on how you will behave and carry out your dreams or fears.

How Visualization Works:

1. It trains you to develop both positive and negative beliefs
2. It develops your scripts
3. It molds your personal and environmental opinions
4. It designs how you will react to certain situations

Creative visualization reinforces all type beliefs, patterns, and attitudes about ourselves and others.

Improving Visualization

There are different exercises you can do to improve your ability to visualize. These basic exercises to help you visualize are the following:

• Regular meditation – meditation will train your mind
• object focus – use any available object, focus for a few seconds and then try to see it with your eyes closed
• Colors – Memorize any color, and then close your eyes and imagine then
• Sound –Try to recall your favorite sound or music in your mind’s eye

Visualization occurs when our mind is relaxed and not working very hard.  Do not overthink the process. Practice and take your time without judging the results. Simple use your imagination and relax the critical tapes.

The Process

As you practice imagining colors, sounds or pictures in your mind’s eye, your skills will sharpen and become second nature. With time you will be able to sit and visualize different scenarios within minutes. Keep in mind that one of the main keys is in learning visualization to relax. Anxiety and stress block the mind from working effectively. Practice with ease and don’t allow yourself to fret or overdo it because you are worried about doing correctly or not getting results.

You can create any scenario you wish to cultivate in your reality but avoid excess focus on results. Simply imagine yourself living out the new reality. Once you completed visualization let go and go about your day without overthinking. You do not need to visualize for long periods or daily on the same scenario because this causes worry and obsession which creates fear and eventually block outcomes. Meditation is an excellent tool to train the mind to relax, which will be useful in visualization. Remember, keep it simple and enjoyable.

To help you remember your visual experience, you should practice regularly. Make sure that you are relaxed and not disturbed during this exercise so that it will be easier to maintain your concentration. Also, try the techniques for different lengths of time going from two minutes up to ten minutes at a time. Try holding your images as long as possible. In other words, think of one image for as long as you can, before moving on to the next one.  The idea with the exercises to develop your attention span, as well as your ability to see.  One more thing keep a journal and document your results.

Copyright © 2017 Rosa Castro

References

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creative_visualization

http://www.mind-your-reality.com/creative_visualization.html

http://shaktigawain.com/

Coping with Unhealthy Patterns

We all struggle with issues that we encounter at one time or another. Few people can avoid experiencing difficulties or some type of crisis at some point in their lives.  Even individuals we assume are happy and living their best lives encounter challenging situations.  Though many of us are under the belief that having it all means having no pain, no fear, or struggles, the fact is we all have to face difficulties at one time or another.

When it comes to coping, regardless of our backgrounds, we each use different coping tools because of the results they provide.  Coping skills vary from person to person, even when raised in the same household and introduced to similar events.  The beliefs and attitudes we have as individuals contribute significantly to how we cope.

As we grow up and learn how to interact with others, we develop engagement patterns that contribute significantly to our coping skills. We realize that specific behavior patterns get us what we need from others, while other behaviors help minimizes painful situations.  The more certain practices help us, the more we hold on to them. Unfortunate many patterns create unhealthy coping skills and perpetuate harmful results.  Here are some examples of coping skills we developed in our lives to deal with painful memories or challenging encounters:

• Making excuses for others who mistreat us by using self-blame
• Engage in self-soothing by overeating or using mind-altering drugs
• Minimizing the severity of a situation
• Using humor to reduce or deflect the pain
• Becoming a people pleaser, to avoid conflict
• Denying the seriousness of things using rationalization
• Deflecting by focusing on other things or people
• Becoming a perfectionist to feel worthy
• Engaging in acts of self-harm such as cutting or drug usage
• Disassociate from painful situations by intellectualizing the problems
• Use retail therapy as a distraction
• Avoid dealing with people by isolating or limiting contact
• Change or avoid discussing painful topics to avoid feeling uncomfortable
• Oversleeping to escape into the dreamworld
• Procrastinate and avoid make changes since it reminds you of past failures
• Remain stuck in an unhealthy situation because you lack the self-esteem to leave
• you feel obligated to “help” those in similar situations as a form of coping with old scars
• Do things out of guilt since you want to be loved and appreciated
• Compromise because you believe it’s your duty and you don’t believe there are options

The list can be extensive, but the main point is to understand that unhealthy coping skills keep you stuck in an endless loop of struggle and pain. There are healthier ways to cope that will assist you in healing and living a more balanced life. Here are a few samples of things to do:

• Keep a journal of events; this way, it allows you to disconnect in a healthier way
• Meditate on the issue to gain perspective
• Do a general chakra balance since the pain has a way of depleting our energy
• Avoid unhealthy compromises; if something does not feel right, do not do it
• Stop people-pleasing, especially when you do not feel comfortable
• Speak your truth, and do not allow others to suppress you
• Your views are just as important as everyone else, so stop suppressing yourself
• You can be compassionate without being a pushover
• Understanding does not equate with acceptance. You can understand and empathize with someone without agreeing with their thinking.
• Avoid making excuses for people who hurt you. After-all; you are not their verbal punching bag
• Set up boundaries by not accepting poor treatment
• Learn to take care of your needs and desires
  

I am sure there are more self-care tips to add to the list above. The key is to recognize your unhealthy patterns and find ways to change them. You do not need to be perfect, but you deserve to have the kind of life that brings you joy and harmony.

Copyright © 2020 R. Castro

Health Makeover

Changing your body either for health or beauty reasons require some commitment. There are so many diets and workout plans available that the choices can be overwhelming and at times even discourage. Folks hear about the successes of every diet or workout routine, and yet when they try it, they see no real outcomes. The number of diet and workout goals folks attempt is numerous. There are many success stories and many more failures.

The reality is that any diet or exercise plan can work, provided its designed for your body type and physical needs.  Not everyone can thrive on raw diets, all meat diets or restrictive eating. Folks with diabetes, irony deficiencies or kidney problems will not thrive on the same diet plan since they have different dietary requirements.  Someone with a head injury or knee injury cannot participate in a high-intensity cardio fitness plan, as someone who may only have weight issues.  The key in selecting your workout and dietary programs will depend on your overall physical needs.  If you are unsure of your medical problems, make sure you get a proper medical physical with blood works to determine what diet plan would be ideal, as well as information on any physical limitations.

Once you have your professional updates on your medical status, then go ahead and get started on changing your relationship to your body. Of course, there are additional steps that go beyond diets and gyms, which includes your overall lifestyle plan. The following areas are necessary practices and realities to face for permanent outcomes.

• The difference between a goal and lifestyle – Goals are useful for getting organized and creating a game plan for obtaining changes, while lifestyles changes are about creating maintenance habits.
• Your weekly plans –to acquire change, you need a routine that you can follow throughout the week and not just occasionally
• Necessary adjustments – no game plan is foolproof. You will have to adjust things as your needs change.
• Lifestyle schedules – your routine needs to be a natural part of your life for changes to remain permanent
• reality based meals – eating restrictive diets just to lose weight quickly are a massive fail because once you stop eating the restrictive foods, you go right back to the foods that increased your weight. You need a lifestyle meal plan
• Lifestyle eating – decide your food plan based on a few realistic options A. Your physical needs to function efficiently. B. What is healthy for your body type C. What you enjoy eating. D. What you can afford to buy.
• Selecting workout plans –Use workout plans that fit your lifestyle and schedule. If you work late at night, join a gym close to work or that is opened 24 hours.
• Proper Guidance – if you have never worked out, get a trainer to guide you through your initial stage. Most reputable gyms will offer free intro sessions to help you get started.
• Developing the workout habit-  Initially, you will need to try out different workout routines before you genuinely find the perfect fit.  Getting used to working out can be a challenge for almost anyone who is starting out or has been away for a while.  At first, all routines will be unpleasant because you will be achy. The key is doing it until it becomes natural. Depending on the routine, it can take over four weeks before you start feeling comfortable.
• Create a workout plan- use a workout plan to keep you focused and organized so you can follow your routine until it becomes second nature.
• Health journal- document your progress regularly. You can write about the challenges, the thoughts or ideas that come up as you work out and follow your eating plan.
• Support – get the support that you need to help you cope with any sabotage or issues that challenge you.
• Patience – it takes time to change old habits. You need to allow yourself the time to adjust and develop the new habits you need for the changes to stick.
• Avoid self-criticism – putting yourself down for not achieving results fast enough is the quickest way to kill your drive. Criticism reduces for motivation, so avoid it as much as possible.

To key to making any goal successful, is to make it a lifestyle commitment. Design your goals with a focus on incorporating the outcomes of daily activities that are part of your regular routines, rather than a time-oriented project that ends the moment you achieved the results you want. Any time you stop an activity, and you go back to the old way of doing things, you go back to the same habits that produced the past outcomes. In the case of body makeovers, if you go back to eating unhealthy foods that kept you unfit and over your ideal weight, you will eventually go back to the old weight. In summary, commit to a lifestyle and let go of your past habits.

Copyright ©2017 Rosa Castro

Resources

Online food shopping

Resolutions and Why They Fail

There are some problems with making resolutions, which is the idea of keeping them going beyond January and if you are a bit more serious you even go beyond February. Many of you are sincere when it comes to creating goals because you want to change.  But the problem after you get started on your goal, you tend to stop just before completion. Most folks when they think of obtaining a goal, they think of a to-do list. Few forget the steps, the physical process and the commitment required to making a goal happen.

It’s admirable to want to change, but you need a real game plan. Take for instance some of the most common new year’s resolutions, losing weight or changing jobs. Both of these goals are good ones, but both are ones in which most folks tend to bail out because their game plan is missing vital steps.

For example, take the weight loss goal. Most goals include joining the gym and a diet. Though it sounds simple, it lacks a few components such as: how much do you wish to lose, and loss by what date? Also how long do you intend to work out? Will you only work out until you lose weight and achieve your goal? Or do you intend to make it a lifestyle?  Do you notice a theme?

Resolutions for change require a long-term lifestyle component. If achieving something for the long haul is your goal, then your goal has to be part of a lifestyle makeover. For instance, take diet goals, you could embark on a short-term workout and diet plan, but the problem is that once you stop going to the gym and eating the diet foods, you will regain every pound back. The fact is, anyone can complete a goal, but to create a permanent change you need a lifestyle-oriented goal.

So now how do you start a resolution?

1. Identify the problems that need changing
2. Create 1-2 simple goals you can complete within the year
3. When possible use steps that can cover more than one goal
4. Break each goal down into simple 2-3 steps.
5. Commit to doing a step at least 2 to 3 times a week for at least 15 minutes to start
6. Give each stage a realistic time frame of 30 days to complete.
7. Revise each stage as you complete the 30-day mark.
8. Use a journal to document and review your progress
9. Get inspirational tools, magazines with pictures that represent what you want to achieve.
10. Avoid trying to complete every single goal in a day, week or year.
11. Prioritize your goals by getting to them first before anything else.
12. Remember, there are days you will feel less connected or motivated to maintain your goals. It’s normal, but do not allow your feelings to dictate your motivation.

Now the key to obtaining your goals will also be in your attitude and how well you remain motivated. You have your goals and steps written and have committed to doing something at least 30 days to begin. You will review and update every 30 days as needed. If you find yourself getting bored or impatient, that means you merely need to revise your steps, by either making it harder or more comfortable, but it does not mean you get to quit. Whenever you feel like stopping read your journal and remind yourself why you created your goals.

Copyright ©2017 Rosa Castro