We all learn from our environment and those who are part of it. Regardless of who is present and how verbal or non-verbal we may be, we are continually learning from outside ourselves as children. Our ability to learn becomes imprinted in our brains as a memory that becomes integrated into our development process. We primarily learn the most from the things that create the most vital impressions since they invoke feelings.
The associations between our memories and feelings create an inner dialogue that we access whenever our feelings become triggered through specific events or catchphrases. Sadly, we do not always know or recall the original details of an event, but emotionally we can still relive the moments.
As we grow older, many of the emotional memories become linked to beliefs and myths that influence our everyday lives. Our history, often based on false recollections, also contributes to our current self-tapes and how we understand our world
The negative beliefs consist of some of the following:
- You must strike first – you grow up believing people are not trustworthy and that you must attack first; otherwise, you will be taken advantage of by them.
- Expect to be perfect – due to a strong desire to be perfect; you learn to be super critical of yourself and become an overachiever
- False relationship myths – you learn young not to trust people and see everyone as a potential foe.
- Develop negative self-talk – you are frequently expecting the worse and tell yourself this is your fate
- Superiority Complex – you develop an over-inflated ego to help you hide your fragile ego
- Believe luck is all we need – this means you forego your responsibility and active role
- Expect others to bail you – you engage in foolish risk, expect others to clean your mess and bail you out financial or legal trouble
- False self-image – you see yourself as a failure and unworthy, so you never allow yourself to make changes
- Victimize ourselves – we learn to believe we cannot control or change anything
Negative tapes create various obstacles that keep us from enjoying a full life. Though the old beliefs might have served a purpose, they do not serve us forever. Negative tapes develop barriers and create behaviors that sabotage us. We create false ideas about others and ourselves because of negative beliefs. It impacts us in the following way:
- Makes us untrusting
- We self-sabotage relationships
- We do not take a healthy risk
- Contributes to unhealthy mood disorders such as depression and anxiety
- It turns us into victims
- Develop phobias
- We become undecisive
- We can appear needy
- we use people for fear they will use us first
- we live in constant fear of rejection
- we push others away
Some healthy ways to create new beliefs are:
- Treat others well – If you treat people with respect, they respect you back
- Self-care is essential – develop action plans to foster good habits and routines that reinforce positive feelings such as meditation, exercises, and eating well
- It’s ok to slow down – no need to be impulsive and jump on things. Allow yourself to be patient by learning to wait for a little and rethink actions
- Practice mindful communication – improve communication by slowing down and thinking over things before taking speaking, review your words, comments, and style of speech
- Reframe your views – You can create your reality by learning new ways of seeing things and reacting to others. Let go of old beliefs
- It’s time to believe in the good -There are good people in the world, and you are one of them. Good people do make mistakes, but there are those if you allow them, they will treat you well
- Develop Mindful Awareness – improve how you react and take action through mindfulness meditation and journaling. Become more aware of your actions.
- Practice Forgiveness– letting go is essential for a happy life. Forgiveness allows you to let go of the burden of pain and hurt from your past, to be free. Yes, you may never forget, but your past should not define you or your future
Old tapes are roadblocks and serve no purpose other than to keep you locked in the past. To create a new future, you need to let go of your past since holding on requires a lot of energy to be used for better things.
Copyright. © 2021. R. Castro
Resources
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