Practical Decluttering

The term home means different things to different people. For some folks, a home is a place to keep belongings, sleep or share with others.  For some is a personal delight and sanctuary. How individuals keep their home varies from person to person.  Some folks are super tidy, while some have homes that are one step away from being a pig pen.

Whether you are neat or messy, I am sure there have been periods you wish you could find effective ways to declutter, clean, or organize with some efficacy.

Remember that this blog is not about turning anyone into a neat freak or activating your dormant obsessive-compulsive tendencies. This blog is about basic tips and suggestions to assist you in making some improvements in your home.

We have a day-by-day decluttering plan that will allow you to do something every day until it becomes a natural routine.  Some of you, who are overachievers, may do a few extra things in one day, and that is perfectly ok as long as you don’t overdo and then burn out.  The key to this plan is to develop a home organizational system that will allow you to create a home that is free from clutter based on your personal needs.

In your decluttering process, you will remove items from your home you no longer need, want, or use.  Here are some steps: but feel free to add more:

1. Select a day– decide which day you wish to devote to your decluttering plan.
2. The purging planning– Get a notebook and write your task plans in terms of A. Tasks 2. Supplies required 3. Starting space or room 4. Designate a place to discard unwanted items (a bag, box, or trash can) 5. Decide where to store things.
3. Cleaning Budget – create a budget for cleaning and storage supplies. Keep it simple and affordable. You need mostly trash bags and storage bins to organize the things you do keep.
4. Document the event – Take pre and post-photos.
5. Trash day schedule– Be sure to keep track of trash day to help you get rid of stuff immediately and avoid new piles.
6. Focus on one room at a time– Get big bags you can comfortably carry, and select one run to start. Start in the far corner and work your way around the room until it’s clear.  Take your time, but commit to at less two full bags at a time.
7. Donation days – find out about the local places that take donations and plan on delivering things you don’t want to throw away but need to get rid of
8. Declutter the Bathroom –Throw out all the old stuff you barely use. Throw out old towels, floor mats, pieces of soap, etc.
9. Super clean the bathroom- Once you clear your bathroom of old or broken items, super clean your bathroom from wall to floor. Sweep the floor thoroughly.  Once the bathroom floor is swept, begin to wipe the tile walls, and scrub the toilet, sink, and shower/tub.  After everything is scrubbed clean, mop your floors.
10. Kitchen area part 1– begin decluttering your refrigerator of all old food that has been hiding in the back of your freezer and refrigerator.  Clearing the kitchen can take all day, so be patient with yourself.
11. Kitchen area part 2 – begin decluttering your food pantry or cabinets with old food products that have expiration dates.
12. Kitchen area part 3 – Open your cabinets/drawers and review dishes, cups, utensils, and cooking pot collection; decide what you need and donate the rest.
13. Go to another spot– Grab some bags and begin to sort items for donation or garbage.
14. Go to your bedroom – take everything that is not bedding off.  Remove the dirty bedding and place it in the laundry.   Meantime make your bed, but do not put anything on it.

In order for the above process to work, make sure to do the following:

• Make sure to empty the trash immediately.
• Make sure to arrange pick or delivery for your donation.
• If you have a broken item you like, ask yourself if you have the skills to repair it; if not, donate it
• If you have duplicates of something, keep only one or two of the same item.
• If something is dirty and broken, toss it, you deserve nice-looking things.
• Remember, things are only valuable when they are in one piece and not broken.
• You can do a little each day; as long as you don’t stop or add more to the pile, you will eventually stop.
  
  
  

In summary, decluttering takes time and personal commitment, which means no one can decide when it’s time but you.

Copyright © 2023 R. Castro

Essential Care vs. The Reward Center of the Brain

We often confuse indulgence with living well. One of the key reasons we assume we are living well has a lot to do with brain function. Whenever we engage in certain activities, the brain’s reward system produces dopamine, a neurotransmitter responsible for pleasure.

The surge of dopamine activates our ability to feel pleasure, contributing to habitual patterns that keep us performing activities that bring us joy.  The more we stimulate the brain’s dopamine production, the more we desire to engage, but over-production contributes to crashing, which produces the opposite of pleasure. 

Excessive dopamine-seeking behaviors often create psychological ramifications, meaning we tend to believe that we must participate in certain activities to feel happy or obtain satisfaction.  Understanding how our moods are activated allows us to gain better control and feel less vulnerable.

 To avoid dopamine-related crashes, we need to understand the different types of rewards that trigger dopamine-seeking patterns. Here is how the reward system functions:

• Social reward – When others compliment, agree, or accept us, we feel desired and loved. Social media stimulates dopamine levels, especially with followers, like buttons and approving comments. The problem with social rewards is that they are inconsistent and rely on how much others like us.  To obtain social rewards, we often become people pleasers.
• Token Rewards – Are obtained through services or activities we engage in. Token rewards consist of incomes, material gains, status, awards, or winnings.  Activities such as working, various types of competition, gaming, gambling, shopping, and being of service produce opportunities for token rewards.  The rewards obtained through services or activities can change due to job changes, financial losses, or physical limitations such as injury. Token rewards require physical engagement, which explains how folks get depressed when they retire or have physical limitations.
• Chemical reward – Chemical indulges, such as sugar, alcohol, drugs, and sex, increase dopamine production faster and more intensely than social rewards or tokens. The dopamine surges related to chemical indulging relies on our ability to consume chemical products at the expense of our health. Chemical rewards lead to physical dependence since it alters the brain’s natural ability to function independently.  In other words, chemical dependency creates a dopamine shortage due to rapid production that forces the brain into overdrive maintain harder to maintain natural stability.
• Individual reward – The individual reward system produces steady levels of dopamine as needed, functioning primarily from personal motivation and a desire to achieve personal goals, which, when accomplished, spikes dopamine levels.

The brain works best when balanced and not forced to overproduce more than necessary.  Overproduction of any hormones contributes to the following:

• Increased stress levels
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Brain fog
• Memory loss
• Loss or increase of appetite (often a side effect of anxiety or depression)
• Unstable production of essential hormones needed for body function.
• Imbalance
• Impact on short-term memory, which impedes learning.
• Fatigue
• Body aches
• Neurological disorders
• Mood disorders
• Panic attacks
• Slur speech
• Vision impairment
• Chronic illness

The best forms of brain stimulation the reward system comes from

• Meditation (1 minute to 1 hour, depending on your lifestyle and schedule)
• Rest – at least 5 minutes to 1 hour per day or more throughout the day
• Proper diets that suit your lifestyle – avoid trendy diets unless recommended by your doctor. Your brain and body require certain food groups to function.
• Exercise – it improves oxygen distribution.
• Self-care in terms of pampering – anything from massages to facials to pedicures to hair care will boost self-esteem mostly because you feel taken care of.
• Maintaining Healthy Relationships – In general, relationships induce oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which is why we connect to people. (Literally chemistry)
• Sleep (the total hours needed varies from person to person, don’t worry about getting 8 hours if you are unable to)

Our body and brain work best when we take of ourselves.  Regardless of how much medication or vitamins we take, we need to be proactive in all areas of our lives.  There are no fast remedies or drugs that can effectively replace nature without side effects such as dependency or deficiencies in other areas. You do not need to work out or meditate for hours or deprive yourself of things you enjoy just to be healthy, but you do need to be mindful and balanced; otherwise, the excess consumption will drain your overall energy.

Copyright  2023. R. Castro

References

Chiu, P. (2020). How does the reward system in the brain work? Retrieved from: https://gotthisnow.com/how-does-the-reward-system-in-the-brain-work

Guys-Evans, O. (2021) Brain Reward System. Retrieved from: https://www.simplypsychology.org/brain-reward-system.html

LeWine, H E. (2023) Oxytocin: the love hormone.  Retrieved from: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/oxytocin-the-love-hormone

Selhub, E. (2022) Nutritional psychiatry: Your brain on food. Retrieved from: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/nutritional-psychiatry-your-brain-on-food-201511168626

Changing Eating Habits

At some point in our lives, we go on a diet. Some folks are successful at losing and maintaining their weight. But the majority of us seem to struggle to begin to lose, and once we do, we struggle to maintain the weight, and sadly we regain it’s often a bit more than what we started with. If you belong to the unsuccessful weight loss group category, you are not alone.

There are many reasons we don’t keep the weight off, and it has nothing to do with willpower but everything to do with brain chemistry and how our body has adapted to a specific diet in order to feel functional. For starters, this blog is not about a weight loss program or diet plan. Sorry, but diets don’t provide lasting effects unless you turn a diet into a lifestyle, and for goodness sake, that is utterly boring, which is one reason may stop dieting.

The key to weight loss has a lot to do with lifestyle, economics, and your brain function. I focus on the personal because not everyone thrives on eating carrots and celery or on keto diets. And in addition, not everyone can afford to buy organic foods from the farmers’ market or whole foods. Let’s keep it real. As someone who lived in NYC, in Washington Heights, I witnessed produce expiring within a few days of purchase. The quality of fresh produce in Washington Heights was horrible because foods were often sold that were not so fresh; this is the reality of low-income communities. (In order to obtain decent food, I had to travel below 135^th Street and Shop in Fairway or some supermarket below that area). Of course, since it’s now gentrified, that has been slowly changing to meet the needs of the new folks.

Now, the idea of this blog is to help you understand that your weight is not about your lack of discipline but about a need to read labels and minimizing on foods designed to keep you consuming them within the confines of your reality.  But the actual reality of this blog is about encouraging you to modify as much as possible based on your life reality.

Food changes are often slow, and normally is because we eat whatever is available and affordable.  Not everyone has the time and luxury of cooking or prepping food in advance.  Some folks actually work so many hours that the little time they have is consumed by rest.  Keep in mind not every individual works an 8-hour day.  There are more and more folks working two jobs, which means their workday may consist of 10 hours plus. Or they work a full day and attend school. The fact is many folks truly have limited resources and eat what is available to them based on cost, shopping hours, and energy for prepping. 

There are some practical ways to change your eating habits that work even for those who work two jobs or work and attend school. The eat consist of the following:

• Use your freezer for storing prepped food
• Create a food budget.
• shopping in bulk
• devoting one day to prepping food
• reading labels
• taking food with you, rather than buying on the run
• prepping for a 30-day food supply
• creating a realistic menu
• take snacks to eat at work.
• Drinking at least 6 cups of water (if you hate work, add lemon or mint)

The biggest investment you should make is in your health. Food should not be the thing you compromise on regardless of budget, simply because food is what keeps you healthy, and without your health, everything else fails to be important. Good food is the best health insurance.  Healthy eating does not need to be based on a vegan, vegetarian, or paleo diet but is simply a reflection of your physical needs.   I will include some resources to help you design practical food-prepping goals which will help you eat well, save money, and maintain your health.

Copyright 2023. R. Castro

Resources

Food prepping for beginner

https://youtu.be/ghsw19qAG1g

https://youtu.be/6An7iH4BwJo

Simple Meal Prep Hacks

https://youtu.be/af8zzqb4Jnw

The Dating Blame Game

We usually look for reasons when relationships don’t work out for us. We either blame the other person or blame ourselves. We obsessively try to determine what went wrong and why we failed to make it work.

When a relationship is not working as we like, we attempt to change the other person’s mind by convincing them we are their soul mate and no one else. Our attempts to convince the other person we are good enough can become an obsession, creating an unhealthy and unhappy pursuit of the impossible. 

We are so eager to commit that we already have plans for our future together, how we will live our lives, and even when we have children. And in some cases, some of us have our wedding outfits ready to go to the altar. So why are we failing?

How we fail

1. We attempt to make others fit into our ideal person, even when they demonstrate they are not our fantasy.  In short, we try to fit a foot into a glove.
2. We do not listen because if we paid attention to the truth, we would have to face the fact the person is not suitable for us.
3. We have OUR future mapped out without the input of the other person.
4. We know what we WANT and are determined to get it, even if the other person might resist.
5. We refuse to accept who our partners are and, as a result, attempt to modify them.
6. We are in love with our partner’s potential and disregard who they are in the present.
7. We believe if we can activate our partner’s potential, we will have a perfect relationship.
8. We push with our agendas whenever we undermine who they indeed are.
9. Because we are ready for commitment, we assume the other person should be willing to do the same.
10. We confuse causal sexual interest with a relationship.
11. When we do not accept our partners as they are, they often withdraw from us by lying, not sharing everything with us, and not giving us what we want.
12. When the other person attempts to inform us that they do not want a relationship, we insist they just need time to get to know us better and hope to change their minds.
13. We often blame the other person for the failing relationship, even though they never promised us a commitment.
14. We get upset and take it personally whenever someone is not ready to commit.
15. We do not believe our partners when they tell us they don’t want a commitment.
16. We assume that the more our partner gets to know us, the more inclined they are to fall in love with us.
17. We date married people and believe their stories that their partners don’t understand them. We buy into their blame game for infidelity so we can live with the guilt of having an affair.
18. When the married person does not leave their spouse, we blame them for lying to us, when in fact, we choose to believe we were unique enough to break up a marriage.
19. We assume that love automatically indicates compatibility, so we don’t bother to work on the necessary maintenance.
20. We believe that true love means our partner has to accept everything about us, even if it is challenging.
21. We expect our partner to demonstrate their love precisely as we do.
22. We blame all our relationship struggles on the other person because they don’t live up to OUR expectations of the perfect relationship.

A healthy relationship does not have to be a painful ordeal and heart-breaking experience. The key to a healthy relationship lies in the honesty and communication exchanged in both directions. One person alone cannot make a relationship work. It takes two individuals willing to participate in mending a relationship, to make a relationship long-lasting and healthy.

Copyright©2023 Rosa Castro