New Year

Many blessings to all of you on this New Year. I am thrilled to share another year of blogging. I am always surprised by the fact that I am still blogging regularly.

When I began this blogging journey, I did it mainly to help myself recover from brain surgery.

I was diagnosed with a brain tumor in New York in 2011, but since the medical follow-up was handled poorly by the hospital, eventually, I decided to ignore it.  Initially, I was told by one doctor that many folks had tumors, and often, they went unnoticed due to a lack of symptoms. The same doctor scheduled an MRI, but upon the follow-up appointment, he had left the hospital.  The next doctor scheduled another MRI, and the appointments were rescheduled twice. On the third appointment, he was no longer working at the hospital. What finally convinced me to stop trying to get the tumor checked out was another doctor who worked in the department that treated my asthma. During an asthma routine check-up, I asked the doctor to review my records because I couldn’t get through the neurological department for a proper appointment.  He candidly told me that since my diagnosis was over 2 years old, I should be ok as long as it didn’t grow or give me any problems like seizures or chronic headaches.  His comment gave me the green light to stop worrying until 2017 when I had my first seizure while living in Sweden. I ended up in the ER, and within 25 days, I got a tumor removed from the right frontal lobe. The operation impacted my speech, short-term memory, mobility, moods, and ability to learn Swedish, so I couldn’t fully integrate into the culture.  I struggled with depression, isolation, and adjustment.  Luckily, since I had over 35 years of experience as a therapist before relocating to Sweden, I was able to regain some functionality.  I used several methods to recover from surgery, which included writing, exercising, and changing my eating habits, as well as breaking old patterns.  Whenever I write about ways to cope and improve, I do it from personal experience and techniques I have used with the clients I worked with throughout my career as a therapist. 

Though I found many techniques helpful and quite effective in helping me recover, I do struggle with Aphasia and short-term memory issues.  I have learned through my healing journey that no matter what we face in life, what we encounter does not have to define our entire life.  We all encounter unpleasant and critical events that often leave us emotionally scarred and doubting our ability to cope and regain balance. I learned that self-forgiveness and patience are vital to living a balanced life, and no matter how hard we fight, we can only take things one day at a time.

 I will continue another year of blogging, even though there are times I genuinely do not want to blog. But I do so because writing for me is therapeutic and allows me to inspire others who might be struggling with similar issues. Copyright 2024. R. Castro

NOTE: 

If you are curious about my journey or some of the techniques I use, here are two links to the books I have written.  Keep in mind that my book on my recovery is not the most elegantly written because, as I said, I struggle. with Aphasia, plus I was in my early stages of recovery: https://wordpress.com/page/holisticcoachingsite.wordpress.com/2296 Sources on Aphasia –  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/aphasia/symptoms-causes/syc-20369518

How to Recognize the Signs of Depression in Your Partner

Your partner, whom you love and whose company you enjoy, went from easygoing to an irritable and moody dark cloud. No matter what you do or say, you just can’t seem to cheer them up. You constantly feel like you are failing to make your partner happy and are worried your relationship will fail. Though depression can impact the quality of any relationship, it does not mean your union has to suffer a loss.

It is essential to recognize the symptoms of depression in order to find ways to cope with and manage it effectively. There are various degrees of depression, from chronic, persistent to mild. Severe depression will require clinical intervention and perhaps even medication. However, most individuals who suffer from chronic or persistent forms of depression are often aware they have it since it impedes their quality of life. On the other hand, some individuals can suffer from depression and not even know it. Depression can come and go throughout a person’s life without expressing itself in recognizable symptoms.

The symptoms of depression can range from mild to extreme and include some of the following symptoms:

1. Ongoing periods of low mood or sadness
2. A tendency to experience hopelessness and helplessness
3. Bouts of Low self-esteem, which can impact sexual engagement
4. Often irritated and intolerant of other
5. Crying for no reason
6. Struggles in making decisions
7. Changes in eating habits, which contribute to weight gain or loss
8. Inconsistent sleeping patterns,
9. Excessive drinking
10. Feeling guilt-ridden
11. Low motivation or loss of interest in things they typically enjoy
12. Feeling concerned or anxious often
13. Suicidal thoughts or desire to harm self
    
    

Occasionally we all experience a few of the symptoms above, especially when encountering a rough period in our lives. For instance, if we are unhappy with various circumstances, such as work, health, home life, or relationship, it is natural to become depressed.

Depression does not have to be the end of your relationship. You can get through this period together. The key is finding a way to cope. It is strongly recommended that you seek help even if you are not the one struggling with depression since it will provide you with tools and a healthy place to vent. When it comes to depression, being proactive is vital and the best way to manage it.

Copyright © 2023 R. Castro

Resources

Depression: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/

Signs: https://www.rd.com/health/wellness/how-to-cope-with-a-depressed-spouse/

Providing support: https://lifehacker.com/how-to-support-a-partner-struggling-with-depression-1717700336

Tips for coping: https://psychcentral.com/lib/suffering-in-silence-when-your-spouse-is-depressed/

Learning more about depression: https://www.psycom.net/help-partner-deal-with-depression/

Understanding our Emotions and Feelings

Our emotions represent our physiological states and are subconsciously manifested. Our feelings are expressions of our emotions and are triggered by thoughts and beliefs.

Too many of us were taught that certain emotions were negative and that we should avoid them. We have been expected to be calm and easygoing, even during horrible periods of our lives. We were taught to see the blessings in everything to negate the stuff that causes us conflict and pain. As wonderful as being happy is, it is not the only feeling we experience, and there is a reason for that. Our emotions allow us to recognize what is painful and unhealthy for us. The more we instruct our mind to only turn to the happiness channel, the less we genuinely heal because minimizing and repressing what we feel does not go away but instead gets buried in our unconscious.

Understanding the message behind your emotional reactions is essential for inner calm and balance. In our unconscious, the emotional pile-up of unresolved events creates a mindset that contributes to patterns and behaviors that eventually sabotage us. Repressed feelings fester, and soon we become unbalanced due to the overload. 

Our emotions and feelings represent:

• Fear – allows us to recognize patterns that may be dangerous to our well-being. Unchecked fears become roadblocks, so we need to understand them better.
• Anger – a reaction to feeling mistreated and manipulated. However, unchecked anger does eventually rob us of ever experiencing peace.
• Jealous –When we experience jealousy, we do so because we assume others are better and that we lack what it takes to be loved
• Irritability is expressed when we are annoyed by situations we view as disturbing the balance and peace of our lives. Unchecked irritability can contribute to depression as well as angry outbursts.
• Depression – When we see ourselves as doomed and forever stuck in situations, we will experience depression. This emotional state can be chronic and prevents us from thriving.  
• Anxiety – This is an emotional reaction to situations that we perceive as beyond our scope of coping. Anxiety represents the belief we are incapable of managing conflicts since we have adopted the view that we are powerless. Unmanaged anxiety will keep us stuck in a loop of powerlessness and vulnerability.
• Sadness– a reaction to events or situations that cause distress and deep hurt. It is normal to experience this when faced with a loss. However, it only becomes an issue when it keeps us emotionally paralyzed.
• Grief – is the state of emotional distress and emptiness that occurs after losing a loved one or status in our lives. It can be brief or long-term in its duration. Unresolved grief can block us from living a full life.

I do not believe in telling folks how to feel or what emotional state is best. However, I do encourage folks to keep things balanced. Our emotions are unconscious interpreters of our world, and being stuck in one emotional state prevents us from fully experiencing other aspects.

We are not designed to only experience happiness but a range of emotional realities. We do not need to walk around being angry, fearful, or zombie-like because we are stuck. Instead, learn to interpret and understand your emotional reactions to living a full life.  

Copyright ©2022. R. Castro.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive therapy takes its roots from Cognitive Behavioral Techniques. It incorporates many of the principles behind Cognitive Behavioral therapy, plus it includes additional techniques such as meditation, visualization, and breathing exercises. MBCT helps individuals change behavior patterns and prevent behavioral relapse by providing lifestyle tools that focus on enhancing mindfulness and continuous awareness.

How it works

Mindfulness is a method of keeping you alert and consciously connected to your thoughts and behavior patterns. The idea behind MBCT is to help you remain aware of thinking and how it can trigger behaviors and potential patterns by keeping you in a state of calm vigilance.

You learn how to think and review things without getting stuck on obsessive thought patterns or over worrying about the slightest details. Through MBCT, you know to become aware without judgment or obsessive thinking. MBCT not only uses awareness enhancing techniques but compassionate self-acceptance.


MBCT is useful in the following areas:

1. Depression – it is useful in reducing the crippling thought patterns that reinforce depressive symptoms
2. Negative self-tapes – you learn to identify negative patterns and redesign your reality
3. Stress – It does not get rid of stressful situations, but it helps you be grounded and clear-minded enough to cope efficiently
4. Communication – helps improve how you engage with others since you develop an awareness of trigger words and how they influence your moods and thoughts
5. Public speaking – helps you ease into a state of awareness yet allows you to gain control of your speech patterns that can impact public presentations
6. Anxiety – Becoming mindful allows you learn to navigate through overthinking and catastrophizing thoughts that produce anxiety
7. Hoarding disorders – the anxiety of going without produces a need to hold on to things, even if it’s broken; mindfulness helps individuals connect to their behavior patterns and reduce the tendency to hold on to excessive items
8. Obsessive-Compulsive– Reduces repetitive thoughts and patterns by keeping one alert of impulses
9. Substance usage – MBCT is a great tool to use, especially when faced with cravings and triggering situations. It reinforces efforts to remain sober but keeping one vigilant and alert of potential patterns that can lead right back into substance use
10. Panic attacks – Mindful breathing is helping in inducing a state of relaxation
11. Pain management – learning to relax and breathe will lessen the impact of pain, which is accomplished through mindful breathing exercises
12. Memory Enhancement – relaxation and mindfulness techniques allow individuals to focus longer, enabling the mind to create associations that improve memory storage and retrieval.
13. Brain trauma recovery – the brain recovers from trauma more effectively when practicing mindfulness, and the individual takes the time to process and relearn

Home techniques

The following are different forms of developing mindfulness in your daily lifestyle.

• Body Scanning meditation – this form of meditation helps you become aware of your body and how it reacts to different situations
• Breathing exercises – deep breathing helps reduce anxiety, panic attacks and calms the mind over excessive mental clutter
• Visualization – learn to use visualization as a tool for creating your ideal mindstate, and recreate your inner conversations
• Journaling – helps you keep track of behaviors, patterns and thoughts. It is a wonderful tool to evaluate and track progress
  

MBCT is an excellent tool for individuals looking to manage and reduce symptoms that contribute to emotional instability and overall coping challenges. Individuals learn that they reprogram their emotional states by using critical words that induce awareness and a sense of control, rather than feelings of failure for experiencing emotions or faulty thoughts.  

In summary, MBCT uses the elements of awareness, self-compassion, and redesigning your beliefs to improve how you think., feel and behave. Through MBCT, you stop the process of automatic reactions and mindless reactions to situations and triggers, allowing you to cope even when facing stressful events.




Copyright © 2021. R. Castro

Resources

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy

Recognizing Depression in the Elderly

It is sometimes hard to recognize depression in others, especially if we look for the classic signs of sadness. Many of us assume depression consists of being visibly sad or even tearful.  Unfortunately, there is a lot more to depression than tears or the appearing sad-like.

There is a difference between temporary states of sadness and chronic depression. Depression is regarded as a mood disorder consisting of a collection of symptoms that persist for extended periods.  Depression does not have to be a lifelong disorder; it can occur at any stage of our lives. Different situations can induce depressive states that can last from a few months to years. A perfectly happy and stable individual can develop depressive symptoms that linger depending on what contributed to the manifestation of depression.

Depression can specifically target seniors who have had regular and stable lifestyles. In the elderly population, depression stems from several different conditions that may not always appear to indicate a clear mood disorder.

There are contributing factors that bring on depression to the elderly that loved ones or family may not always recognize.

• Isolation – not being around loved ones or friends will amplify depressive states since it is a vivid reminder, they are alone
• Physical limitations – Not being able to move around freely and being forced to remain home due to mobility issues will increase depression
• Financial stressors – being unable to eat well, obtain services or travel to visit loved due to finances, will reinforce depression
• Health changes –depression is not just the result of physical restrictions but also the brain’s chemical changes. Lack of movement decreases oxygen distributions to the brain, reducing the production of “happy” hormones that impact overall function.
• Alcohol use – Many folks assume alcohol consumption makes a person jolly; it is a depressant. Excessive use of alcohol will elevate depressive levels.
• Grief of old identity is typical for individuals who retire or suddenly become single to experience depression.  Not knowing how to function in retirement can be challenging for many, especially if they have physical limitations or no one around to share life with.
• The Lone Survivor – burying friends and family can be painful as well as lonely. It becomes harder to meet folks we age, especially if one is home-bound. Not having many friends or family left to talk to will make most individuals lonely and depressed
• Medication – numerous medications can contribute to depressive symptoms, as well as anxiety. It is essential to read the side effects of the drugs being prescribed to potential mood changes
• Poor diets – food is fuel, and when we have a limited diet, our body will become tired and lethargic. One of the problems with depression is that folks tend to eat more junk or avoid food, which eventually takes its toll on the body. Improper diets will keep the body operating in a deficit, which can mimic depressive states.

Recognizing the signs of depression is extremely tricky, especially if we only visit the elderly on limited occasions or are unaware of the symptoms.  The changes that occur when an individual is undergoing a mood disorder is often quite different than the typical behavior patterns; here is a list of things to look for

• Hygiene changes – a drastic change in hygiene care. A once neat and well-groomed individual starts to avoid showers or taking care of their appearances
• Disorganized home – Out of character behaviors such as untidy home, tons of dirty dishes, garbage everywhere, clothes all over the floor, piles of paper, etc.
• Memory issues – Repeating themselves because they forget what they were saying
• Irritability – A typically calm person starts to become easily annoyed or angered over trivial things
• Sleeping difficulties – The poor sleep patterns range from sleeping at all hours to not sleeping much
• Eating habits – there made be loss of appetite or overconsumption of sugar products
• Chronic complaints– the person tends to complain about every single event or becomes grossly focused on all types of adverse events, both personal and in the news
• Hallucinations or delusions – May experience imagery events or see things that are no based on reality
• Easily confused – the person can become easily distracted or lose their focus, making them change topics in mid-conversation.
• Loss of interest – they find little joy in the things they once enjoyed or found pleasurable
• Obsessed with death – The person seems obsessed with death and will state they are just waiting for their turn

The individual suffering from depression is often unaware they are struggling, which will make it even harder for others to detect the person who needs help. Therefore, in the event you recognize signs of depression in an older person you know, it is vital to seek some type of help in helping them.  If you are unsure how to seek help, check with their doctor or look for assistance with adult care services in your area.  Go online and type in adult care services within your area, and you should be able to find local directories to assist you.

Copyright ©2021 R.Castro

References

Aging In Place.  (2021) Isolation-Induced Depression In Seniors. Retrieved from: https://aginginplace.org/isolation-induced-depression-in-seniors/

Bruce, D. F. (2020) Depression in older people. Retrieved from: https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-elderly

U.S. Dept of Mental Health and Human Services. (2021) Depression and Older Adults. Retrieved from: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/depression-and-older-adults

How to Recognize Mental Health Changes

I write this with some apprehension.  I am not encouraging folks to become armchair therapists. Or assume that reading one blog will make anyone capable of diagnosing others. I write this blog simply to help individuals dealing with family or loved ones who display usual behavior changes. 

Now, what do I mean by behavioral changes? Behaviors that seem out of character or different that occurs without the input of therapy or self-help.

It is essential to be aware that when a person in our lives changes, they are not doing so because of us per se.  It is a tendency for many of us to assume that the moment someone has changed, they are doing so because of something we did or did not do.

Change is not always bad. However, when a person we love changes, it creates confusion since we often have to adapt.  Regardless of the change is negative or positive, many of us can find ourselves confused and unsure how to understand what is occurring.

Here is a small list of what they may encountering:

1. Medical conditions: The loss of vitality, weight gain, and fatigue can provide mood changes. Individuals will experience various emotional reactions to health changes, which induces depression, anxiety, dissociative patterns, and even anxiety-induced phobias.  

• Medication side-effects: It is crucial to read prescription labels since many medications can increase or induce anxiety, depression, confusion, sluggishness, and even hallucinations.  Medically induced mental disorders usually subside once the drug is out of the person’s system. 

• Therapeutic triggers:  Though it can be very healing and beneficial, therapy opens up old wounds that can activate old feelings.  However, in experiencing strong emotions, a person can gain clarity and find the proper coping tools to help them release old patterns. Some changes that can take place due to therapy include irritable moods, crying fits, vivid dreams, memory recall, or positive patterns such as increased self-care, confidence, boundary setting

• Trauma: When individuals encounter violent, distressing, or life threaten events, they are experiencing an enormous shock to their psyche. When we witness someone dying or come close to dying, we are left in a state of shock that becomes the platform for PTSD.  Signs of trauma are not always obvious or apparent, making it hard to detect and even treat. However, a sign of trauma includes personal changes such as withdrawal, nightmares, anxiety, restlessness, hypervigilance

• Grief: The loss of a job, an apartment, marriage, loved one, or relationship can create emptiness and a feeling of abandonment, as well as deep emotional distress. Grief can leave us to feel unsure and uncertain about engaging with others or even trusting others.  Grief can lead to depression, isolation, moodiness, withdrawal, and even suicidal thoughts.

• Recovery: When a person enters sobriety, expect mental and physical changes as the body detoxes from chemical usages. The mental modifications can include recollection of repressed memories, intense feelings, irritability, anxiety, and depression. The physical changes can consist of weight fluctuations, a decrease or increase in sleep patterns, vivid dreams, cravings for sweets, skin breakouts as the body detoxes, constipation, and numerous health issues that were once ignored surface. A person in recovery may not always be pleasant since the physical detox can increase irritability and tempers.

• Stress: Many of us overlook the impact stress has on us. Many of us have normalized stress as another component of life, so much so, we assume it has no direct impact.  However, whether we know of it or not, stress does impact our well-being. It has a way of affecting us mentally and physically.  The signs of stress can include forgetfulness, overeating, poor sleep patterns, stomach discomfort, weight fluctuations, irregular bowel movements, irritability, crying spells, anxiety, depression, impatience, and a need to isolate.

Understand when a person is in therapy, early recovery, physical make-over, or embarking on a spiritual journey, their behaviors will change to some degree. Hopefully, the changes will be beneficial and life-enhancing.

The key to coping with someone whose behavior is different, ask questions. Do not assume or begin to play therapist. Ask them directly, if possible, what is going on since you noticed a difference.  Now, if they become irritated or annoyed, this may not be something you could address directly. Approach uncomfortable topics with patience and compassion, simply because not everyone is aware they are changing or ready to disclose.

Copyright ©2021 R. Castro

Reference

FDA. (2018). Finding and Learning about Side Effects (adverse reactions) Retrieved from
https://www.fda.gov/Drugs/ResourcesForYou/Consumers/ucm196029.htm

(2021) How is stress affecting you?  Retrieved from:  https://www.stress.org/stress-effects

Trauma. (2021). American Psychological Association. Retrieved from:

https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/

Useful Resources